I'm guilty of it too. When I'm out late at night grocery shopping and I see parents with their toddlers in footed pajamas eating cheetos out of the bag I almost go nuts and think the worst of the parents. But, other times I stop and remind myself that I don't know their circumstances. And, a trip to the store at 10pm at night never prevented a child from growing up and becoming a productive member of society (as far as I know).
But the "I breast-fed my baby until he was two" or the "my child never watched a minute of television until he was ten" or the "I would never vaccinate my child" moms are the ones that get me. I really won't belabor the whole breast-feeding issue because that one is a doozie. People really get intense about their beliefs on that issue. But what one mom chooses to do is her own choice - she shouldn't be out there judging the rest of us. It's bad enough that every parenting magazine tells you how you should be doing something other than what you are doing, or every HGTV show reminds you how inferior you are at designing your home, and the nightly news tells you about another product your family is currently ingesting that will for sure shorten their life expectancy. I remember being worried sick to death that I had a bumper in my baby's crib, that there was BPA in the bottles I'd fed her with, or that the detergent I washed her clothes with would give her allergies. Then, to have some other mom - who I know was fearful and insecure too - make some comment about how she was doing it the right way? No thank you.
I've chosen to stay away from most "how to" books regarding parenting. I've read a few on particular issues (like sleeping or whining) but I can't handle the ones that tell you their way is the only way.
When I meet up with other moms at birthday parties and they tell me how they spent the morning screaming at their child, I just laugh and nod my head. That makes me feel normal. It almost brings me to tears to know that there are other moms doing exactly what I'm doing - and I think they are doing a good job!!
Most of us try our very best. We don't want to make mistakes - especially the big ones. There should be more books out there telling us that we CAN do it and building us up - with less media telling us how television is going to ruin our kids or that we need to buy the $400 car seat to keep our kids safe until they are old enough to drive themselves. I'm not saying we don't need information - we just don't need all the guilt that comes along with it.
My girls are three and four. My oldest didn't watch tv until she was three but my three-year-old started watching when she was just two. But they don't just watch tv - they play outside, they do puzzles and look at books and practice writing their letters and color and I read to them constantly. My three-year-old may actually know more than her sister did at her age; I don't think watching television has stunted her at all. I watch what they eat but they do eat at McDonalds and occasionally they have CountryTime pink lemonade or chocolate milk. Neither one of them was breastfed beyond six weeks old but neither one of them is underweight or overweight or has allergies. And, yes, they are up to date on their vaccinations. My husband and I are just trying to do the best we can. I hope at the end of the day, I'm judged fairly for having done that.
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