Is it me or does it seem like parents run themselves ragged getting their kids to and from activities? Granted I was a kid 30+ years ago but I really don't remember my parents hustling us back and forth to something every night. We came home from school and did our homework and watched TV and went to bed. I mean, I remember being in gymnastics or ballet and taking swimming lessons but I'm pretty sure that was in the summer and/or on a Saturday. Now it's music lessons, sports, foreign language, drama, ballet/gymnastics - and that's just for preschoolers.
My husband and I fell into this trap when our girls were two and three. But then we realized that the girls were tired and so were we. Not to mention we had no Saturdays to take a trip or even work in the yard. So, we took a season off. We spent Saturdays going to Seattle, Portland, the beach, pumpkin patches, the library, etc. It was wonderful. But now we have the girls back in ballet/tap on Monday nights and swimming lessons on Sunday afternoons. We were thinking of adding gymnastics on Saturday mornings but I stopped short. I don't want to give up my Saturdays!
I'm sure there are lots of parents out there who think I'm selfish and not thinking of my kids' needs - but I think it is just the opposite. My kids spent last Saturday at the park - just playing - and then at home riding their big wheels with me around the neighborhood. Less stress on me, and less stress on them. I figure there is plenty of time for all of that (for all of us) in the future. For now, I'm going to keep our Saturdays as family days. I'm sure when I look back on this one day I won't regret the time they didn't spend playing soccer or the violin. I'm sure I will be thankful for the time they spent with me. They are growing up so fast as it is ... this is my time.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Other moms who judge
I'm guilty of it too. When I'm out late at night grocery shopping and I see parents with their toddlers in footed pajamas eating cheetos out of the bag I almost go nuts and think the worst of the parents. But, other times I stop and remind myself that I don't know their circumstances. And, a trip to the store at 10pm at night never prevented a child from growing up and becoming a productive member of society (as far as I know).
But the "I breast-fed my baby until he was two" or the "my child never watched a minute of television until he was ten" or the "I would never vaccinate my child" moms are the ones that get me. I really won't belabor the whole breast-feeding issue because that one is a doozie. People really get intense about their beliefs on that issue. But what one mom chooses to do is her own choice - she shouldn't be out there judging the rest of us. It's bad enough that every parenting magazine tells you how you should be doing something other than what you are doing, or every HGTV show reminds you how inferior you are at designing your home, and the nightly news tells you about another product your family is currently ingesting that will for sure shorten their life expectancy. I remember being worried sick to death that I had a bumper in my baby's crib, that there was BPA in the bottles I'd fed her with, or that the detergent I washed her clothes with would give her allergies. Then, to have some other mom - who I know was fearful and insecure too - make some comment about how she was doing it the right way? No thank you.
I've chosen to stay away from most "how to" books regarding parenting. I've read a few on particular issues (like sleeping or whining) but I can't handle the ones that tell you their way is the only way.
When I meet up with other moms at birthday parties and they tell me how they spent the morning screaming at their child, I just laugh and nod my head. That makes me feel normal. It almost brings me to tears to know that there are other moms doing exactly what I'm doing - and I think they are doing a good job!!
Most of us try our very best. We don't want to make mistakes - especially the big ones. There should be more books out there telling us that we CAN do it and building us up - with less media telling us how television is going to ruin our kids or that we need to buy the $400 car seat to keep our kids safe until they are old enough to drive themselves. I'm not saying we don't need information - we just don't need all the guilt that comes along with it.
My girls are three and four. My oldest didn't watch tv until she was three but my three-year-old started watching when she was just two. But they don't just watch tv - they play outside, they do puzzles and look at books and practice writing their letters and color and I read to them constantly. My three-year-old may actually know more than her sister did at her age; I don't think watching television has stunted her at all. I watch what they eat but they do eat at McDonalds and occasionally they have CountryTime pink lemonade or chocolate milk. Neither one of them was breastfed beyond six weeks old but neither one of them is underweight or overweight or has allergies. And, yes, they are up to date on their vaccinations. My husband and I are just trying to do the best we can. I hope at the end of the day, I'm judged fairly for having done that.
But the "I breast-fed my baby until he was two" or the "my child never watched a minute of television until he was ten" or the "I would never vaccinate my child" moms are the ones that get me. I really won't belabor the whole breast-feeding issue because that one is a doozie. People really get intense about their beliefs on that issue. But what one mom chooses to do is her own choice - she shouldn't be out there judging the rest of us. It's bad enough that every parenting magazine tells you how you should be doing something other than what you are doing, or every HGTV show reminds you how inferior you are at designing your home, and the nightly news tells you about another product your family is currently ingesting that will for sure shorten their life expectancy. I remember being worried sick to death that I had a bumper in my baby's crib, that there was BPA in the bottles I'd fed her with, or that the detergent I washed her clothes with would give her allergies. Then, to have some other mom - who I know was fearful and insecure too - make some comment about how she was doing it the right way? No thank you.
I've chosen to stay away from most "how to" books regarding parenting. I've read a few on particular issues (like sleeping or whining) but I can't handle the ones that tell you their way is the only way.
When I meet up with other moms at birthday parties and they tell me how they spent the morning screaming at their child, I just laugh and nod my head. That makes me feel normal. It almost brings me to tears to know that there are other moms doing exactly what I'm doing - and I think they are doing a good job!!
Most of us try our very best. We don't want to make mistakes - especially the big ones. There should be more books out there telling us that we CAN do it and building us up - with less media telling us how television is going to ruin our kids or that we need to buy the $400 car seat to keep our kids safe until they are old enough to drive themselves. I'm not saying we don't need information - we just don't need all the guilt that comes along with it.
My girls are three and four. My oldest didn't watch tv until she was three but my three-year-old started watching when she was just two. But they don't just watch tv - they play outside, they do puzzles and look at books and practice writing their letters and color and I read to them constantly. My three-year-old may actually know more than her sister did at her age; I don't think watching television has stunted her at all. I watch what they eat but they do eat at McDonalds and occasionally they have CountryTime pink lemonade or chocolate milk. Neither one of them was breastfed beyond six weeks old but neither one of them is underweight or overweight or has allergies. And, yes, they are up to date on their vaccinations. My husband and I are just trying to do the best we can. I hope at the end of the day, I'm judged fairly for having done that.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Summer clothes in stores in February
Living in the Pacific Northwest takes getting used to. I'm sure it is similar for people who live north of the Mason Dixon line everywhere but it just isn't warm here until, well, July. You'd think I get used to the crazy fact that all the spring clothes are gone by December and all you can find in the stores in Spring are tank tops and shorts. Why? I really don't get it. Come July I will be trying to find a new bathing suit for my four-year-old who will, by then, outgrown the one I bought in March but there will only be winter coats and rain boots for sale then. Is this some kind of conspiracy to make me crazy? Another example - tights. My girls go through them like toilet paper. Seriously. They either get runs in them or they outgrow them. And since they wear them from October to May, that's a lot of tights! But can I run into Target and find them? No. Because they are fall/winter clothing and they only sell that in July and August! Nuts! I can, of course, find just about anything on the internet. But you can't judge the quality or try them on. And you certainly can't get them for the next day.
If anyone in clothing is listening - really, stop the madness. In the Pacific Northwest, sell bathing suits from March to September. Sell kids tights from August to May. Rain boots too. If you are in Phoenix, you should be able to find bathing suits on the racks year-round. Why is this so hard? Don't the people who put the clothes in the stores go outside? Or check the weather report?
I'm only asking for one simple thing. To walk into a store and be able to buy clothes for the season I'm living in - not the one six months away.
If anyone in clothing is listening - really, stop the madness. In the Pacific Northwest, sell bathing suits from March to September. Sell kids tights from August to May. Rain boots too. If you are in Phoenix, you should be able to find bathing suits on the racks year-round. Why is this so hard? Don't the people who put the clothes in the stores go outside? Or check the weather report?
I'm only asking for one simple thing. To walk into a store and be able to buy clothes for the season I'm living in - not the one six months away.
reward cards and coupons
I am the mother of two preschool girls. I work full-time, meaning M-F 8-5. I do my shopping in the stores on the weekends (when I have time) and I often shop from home on-line in the evenings. This, I assume, is like most moms. And, like most moms, I don't want to take my daughters shopping with me if I can help it. They are generally pretty good in the stores but it is boring for them - which makes it more chaotic for me. So, I may get an hour or two every other weekend that I can run into the mall and shop.
Now, for my pet peeve. Those darn rewards that a store gives you for shopping with them THAT EXPIRE. Now, from a marketing perspective I get the reward idea. The store doesn't actually have to give you anything for the purchases you are making at the time - but, since they want you to come back and spend more money, they give you an incentive by saying "come back during week X and use this coupon - it will be $20 off of $40" or something along those lines. The problem, of course, is that I can't always come back during week X! And, even if I do make it back, I'm not always able to find that darn coupon!
I can't tell you how many of these coupons I have in my wallet at any given time. I know I have them right now for Macy's, Fashion Bug, Kohl's, Dress Barn, Gymboree, Children's Place, and Old Navy. I have to diligently look at them to try and remember the dates I can use them. I have to make sure I have my wallet in my hand when I run into the mall. And, I have to make sure I spend whatever the amount is on the coupon to get the deal. So, I can't just buy $38.95 worth of clothing (before tax), it has to be a minimum of $40 (for example). It is exhausting!!
What I really like is my Target card. Every time I go to Target and use my card (always pay it off each month!!), I get 5% off of my purchase. I can still use a coupon if I have one but even if I don't - still 5% off. Gymboree and Children's Place do the same thing. In my mind, that's a real reward card.
Now if I could just get Macy's to do the same thing!
Now, for my pet peeve. Those darn rewards that a store gives you for shopping with them THAT EXPIRE. Now, from a marketing perspective I get the reward idea. The store doesn't actually have to give you anything for the purchases you are making at the time - but, since they want you to come back and spend more money, they give you an incentive by saying "come back during week X and use this coupon - it will be $20 off of $40" or something along those lines. The problem, of course, is that I can't always come back during week X! And, even if I do make it back, I'm not always able to find that darn coupon!
I can't tell you how many of these coupons I have in my wallet at any given time. I know I have them right now for Macy's, Fashion Bug, Kohl's, Dress Barn, Gymboree, Children's Place, and Old Navy. I have to diligently look at them to try and remember the dates I can use them. I have to make sure I have my wallet in my hand when I run into the mall. And, I have to make sure I spend whatever the amount is on the coupon to get the deal. So, I can't just buy $38.95 worth of clothing (before tax), it has to be a minimum of $40 (for example). It is exhausting!!
What I really like is my Target card. Every time I go to Target and use my card (always pay it off each month!!), I get 5% off of my purchase. I can still use a coupon if I have one but even if I don't - still 5% off. Gymboree and Children's Place do the same thing. In my mind, that's a real reward card.
Now if I could just get Macy's to do the same thing!
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